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Ok so heres the deal untill recently I was 16 and had never been kissed (Ich Leibe Du) I liked
the look on his face before hand surrpiseingly I rmember that better than the actual event and ruined the moment cuz I was
like YA!!! I finally got kissed!! but neways I had this page on the old website so discided to keep it cuz I like it.
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How To
Kiss |
Listen
to romantic music at Sheila's Online Radio Station!
CLICK HERE
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If you can't find what you are looking for here,
check out my FAQ page on kissing. You will find questions there
that people have asked regarding kissing. Also, we have now added pictures of people kissing!
Hopefully these will also help you in understanding how to kiss better. You can view them by clicking here.
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Kissing is probably the most physically romantic
two people can get. There really is no wrong way to kiss. The thing to remember is that everybody kisses differently and different
people prefer different ways of kissing. Some people, believe it or not, are appalled at the idea of French Kissing or using
your tongue while you kiss. While others can't imagine kissing without using your tongue. The thing is to try kissing that
person a few times before deciding how you and your partner prefer kissing and to get used to the way that person kisses.
A first kiss should always be done while the two
of you are alone. This will help to avoid any unnecessary nervousness and embarrassing situations. The best type of kiss is
one that uses different variations, such as starting with a small kiss, working into a French Kiss, maybe sucking on your
partner's upper or lower lip, then trying the other two types. And don't just leave kisses to the lips. Kiss their cheeks,
their chin or their eyelids. This can be very seductive and romantic.
The perfect kiss is one that is done with someone
you really care about. There is more caring and sincerity in a kiss with someone special than with someone you hardly know,
although a really good kiss can certainly bring two people closer together.
A lot of people have been writing to us on how to
overcome the fear of kissing someone. Our answer would be to not kiss that person right away. Wait until an attraction builds
between the two of you and a romantic situation evolves. Go out with the person a couple of times before having that first
kiss.
Basic Kissing Tips
Great Breath - This is very important. Make sure you brush your teeth before going out on your date. There is
nothing worse than kissing someone with bad breath. If your date consists of having something to eat before the actual kiss,
make sure you have a mint on hand to take right after you finish eating. Don't take the mint just before the kiss or chew
on gum. You don't want to have something in your mouth when you kiss.
Moist Lips - You want your lips to be slightly moist when you kiss. Run your tongue over your lips once before you
kiss. Don't wear lip gloss because that tends to make the kiss too gooey. And don't wear a lot of lipstick unless you want
your partner to wear it too after the kiss. Slightly moist lips makes it easier to move your lips over your partner's and
gives both you and your partner a more pleasant experience.
Positioning - Stand close to your partner. As the two of you move closer together tilt your head slightly to
one side. If you don't, don't worry about it. Your partner will still tilt their head slightly so your lips meet
on a slight angle or they will kiss you straight on. If you can see which way your partner's head is tilting, tilt your
head slightly in the opposite direction.
Close Eyes - Just before your lips meet, close your eyes. Some people prefer to leave their eyes open during the
kiss. But until you know what your partner prefers, it is best to close your eyes. Kissing with your eyes open, looking
into one another's eyes while you kiss, can be very erotic and some people find it quite enjoyable. You may want to
try kissing this way once you're more comfortable kissing your partner.
Open Lips - Open your mouth slightly and place your lips over your partner's lips. Do not hold your breath! Breath
through your nose. As your lips meet, press them gently over your partner's. You may wish to move your lips in a slow, circular
motion or just leave them still over your partners.
Closed Lips - This is like the type of kiss you'd give your grandma or aunt. Instead of opening your mouth
when your lips meet, keep them closed. This is also a good way of letting your partner know this is as far as it goes. It
also makes a great hello/good-bye kiss or a great first time kiss if you're nervous.
Hands - There are many ways you can use your hands during a kiss. The most popular way is to put one
hand on your partner's waist and the other one against the middle of their back. Other ways to use your hands are to
cup your partner's face in your hands (very romantic!), put them around your partner's neck, put them around their waist,
hold your partner's upper or lower arms gently, run your finger's through their hair, or just hold their hands in yours.
French Kissing
This is the most popular type of kiss. This involves
touching your tongue with your partner's and it can be quite a pleasant experience. There are a few tips to create a great
French kiss.
Relax - You lips should be relaxed, you body should be relaxed, otherwise it will be like kissing a dead fish
for the other person. There are only two things involved in a French kiss: your lips and your tongue. That's
it!
Open Lips - Your lips should be slightly parted, not open wide like you're at the dentist. Open them just
far enough, just like you are regularly breathing through your mouth.
Positioning - Do not have your face dead on to his/hers, otherwise your noses will touch. You want to
move your head to one side just enough so your nose is out of the way of theirs. If you think about it then, with your
head tilted one way and his the other way, your mouths will not reach dead on. Your mouths will meet at the corner of
the other's mouth. It will look like the below picture:
If you look closely at the picture, you will see
that their noses will actually touch the cheek of the other person. Their lips have already touched. When you
touch the other person's lips and you stretch your tongue out a bit, your mouths will instinctively open as much as the couple
in the picture.
Tongue - Practice on your own if you'd like. Open your mouth enough (while you're by yourself of course!)
just enough to stick a bit of your tongue out. It will go past your teeth. Don't stick your entire tongue out...
just an inch or two. That is how far you should stick your tongue out in a kiss. So your tongue will go into their
mouth and theirs will go into yours. When this happens, both of your tongues will touch. Then just circle the
tip of your tongue around the tip of theirs. If they do something different (because you have to remember that everyone
kisses differently so some may move their tongue around a bit differently) then just do the same as they do. They may
flick their tongue over yours and you can do the same. Or they explore the inside of your mouth with their tongue, do
the same thing! Or you can just lightly touch their tongue while they are exploring. The best thing is to NOT
just leave your tongue doing nothing.
As for movement of the head, that is entirely up
to you. Some people will move their heads very slightly in a small circular motion or figure eight. Sometimes
they won't. Sometimes just one person moves their head and the other doesn't. It's totally up to you.
You may explore different ways of using your tongue.
Try running the tip of your tongue over your partner's lips. Do this slowly and gently, just using the tip of your tongue.
Suck Kissing
This can be a very seductive type of kiss. Instead
of French Kissing with your mouth open, while your partner's lips are parted suck on their top our bottom lip with your own,
just for a second or two. Then go back to another type of kiss or try the other lip.
Nip Kissing
This type of kiss has to be done carefully, but when
done correctly can create a wonderful effect on your partner. While suck kissing, gently bite their lip, but be VERY gentle
so as not to hurt your partner. This kiss should only be done with someone that you've kissed a few times before, otherwise
you may shock your partner.
Surprise Kissing
This type of kiss is done when your partner is lying
down on a sofa or the ground, either asleep or just lying with their eyes closed. Quietly approach your partner and place
a small, very gentle kiss on their lips. Intensify the kiss until your partner opens their eyes or awakens.
Vacuum Kissing
This is a playful kiss. While in an open-mouthed
kiss, suck in deeply so you're sucking the air from your partner.
Cordial Kissing
Take a sip of your favorite drink, either alcohol
or something sweet, and then when your lips meet pour the drink in your partner's mouth. Only take a very small sip.
Butterfly Kissing
Put your eye really close to your partner's cheek
and flutter your lashes upon their skin. You can also do this on their lips.
Melt Kissing (from visitor's email)
Pass an ice cube back and forth in mouth while French
kissing.
Marathon Kissing (from visitor's email)
See how long you can kiss for (try 5 - 10 minutes
straight)
Glow stick Frenzy (from visitor's email)
Pass the mini mouth glow stick back and forth (same
thing as melt kissing).
Tongue Sucking (from visitor's email)
When you have the chance to get really deep into
your partners mouth, suck on their tongue as far as you can. Don't suck to hard, you don't want to hurt your partner.
Otherwise it's very pleasing!
Candy Kiss (from visitor's email)
Use either a Jolly Rancher or some type of hard candy/mint.
Either you or your partner place the candy in your/their mouth and then it is like a game of keep away. Whoever
starts tries to keep the candy in their mouth while the other person tries to get it in theirs. But you can only
use your tongue and lips. This can be very fun if you have the right partner!!! Enjoy.
Sigh Kiss (from visitor's email)
When you first start kissing your partner gently
lick their lips with the tip of your tongue. Then blow or sigh into their lips, causing a tingling feeling that
will intensify your kiss for sure.
The Tickle
Kiss (from visitor's email)
In this kiss you make use
of the fact that the roof of the mouth is the most ticklish part of the body. Begin a normal French kiss and (be sure
your partner understands the game) stroke your tongue across the roof of each other's mouth. This will create almost
unbearable chills down your spine and the winner is the person who can stand them because the loser pulls away. The
best part about this kiss is that it is different every time and always fun.
Name Kiss (from visitor's email)
If u have run out of things to do with your tongue
spell your name. This works very well and everyone likes
it!
Tongue Wars (from visitor's email)
Each person tries to get their tongue in the other
persons mouth while they try to get their tongue in your mouth. Each person "blocks" the other persons tongue with theirs.
The winner gets to pick the next type of kiss. This game is great for reliving first make-out tension.
Starburst Trick (from visitor's email)
Out a starburst in your mouth, and while French kissing
try to unwrap it! Enjoy!
Pop Kiss (from visitor's email)
Use pop-rocks, great fun. You've heard of fireworks,
this is an explosion!
Ring Kiss (from visitor's email)
What you do is take a ring off your finger and put
it on your tongue. Then while you and your partner are french kissing, he tries to slip it on the tip of his tongue! It is
a lot of fun!
Tongue Tease (from visitor's email)
When you're French kissing, if/when you pull back, and before your mouths meet again, you can flick your tongue
up and down quickly against the other person who is doing the same. It's very teasing and fun to see how long it lasts.
Its hard to resist going strong after a while of flicking.
Touch Kiss (from visitor's email)
You do this after you and your partner have Frenched
or really kissed alot. What you do is just simply touch tongues - like the tip of your tongue. You may want
to move it around but you don't have to. You don't do it inside your mouth you do it out in the open.
Underwater Kiss (from visitor's email)
Have your partner hold their
breath underwater and when he or she taps you give them air.
Moving Kiss (from visitor's email)
Make sure a bed or couch or chair is behind your
partner and when French kissing gently push your partner onto the chair or whatever is behind them. Very good for serious
couples or just beginners.
Flavor Kissing (from visitor's email)
Put a piece of long lasting
gum in your mouth (Hubba Bubba, Trident) just before you and your partner French kiss. While kissing pass the gum back and
forth, and see how long it takes for the flavor to run out!
Chin Kiss (from
visitor's email)
Hold your partner's chin
with your middle, index, and thumb and tilt their head in the right direction. Continue to hold it as you kiss.
Lip Venom (from
visitor's email)
Before you go to kiss your
partner, apply lip venom to your lips when he isn't looking. Lip venom is a safe cosmetic item that you can buy at Scarlets
and other cosmetic stores and what it does is it draws the blood to your lips, making them red and tingly. A little bit goes
a very long way and can still be passed up until probably about a half an hour after applying. When your partner kisses you,
he will have this sensual feeling running through his lips for the rest of the day.
Pepper Kiss (from
visitor's email)
Take a hot pepper and roll
it on your lips then kiss your partner. It gives the kiss a kick. (Note use peppers as hot as you or your partner can take,
but not too hot or it will just burn and ruin the kiss.)
Chew Kiss (from visitor's email)
Tell your partner to place their tongue deeply into
mouth deeply... you VERY GENTLY "chew" on the back part of their tongue... do not suck. This will create a sensation
in other places that can be very exciting!
Breath Kiss (from visitor's email)
In a hot moment - creates major anticipation - barely
touch lips with lips slightly parted... then breath your partner's breath... moving heads slowly to experience different sensations...
lips touching on and off slightly... it is a very teasing sort of kiss and builds passion tremendously.
Tongue Ring Kiss (from visitor's email)
What you do is, if your partner has a tongue ring
and the two of you are French kissing, mess with his/her tongue ring while kissing and it gives your partner chills and excitement/happiness
because a lot of people with tongue rings love that. Or if the two of you have a tongue ring have a tongue ring WAR! What
you do is keep his/her tongue away from your tongue ring, while you're messing with their tongue ring. (NOTE: don't Tangle
tongue rings together because that will be a disaster!)
Do What You Want Kiss (from visitor's email)
This is always fun. One of you just lies there, and
the other does whatever he or she wants to give pleasure. Then, you switch roles. See who can give the most satisfying kiss,
with the other not participating at all.
Trade-Off Kiss (from visitor's email)
One of you gets a cinnamon candy and the other a
mint. One takes the cinnamon and the other the mint. While French kissing switch them from time to time.
Who Lasts Longer Kiss (from visitor's email)
Sit very close to each other, your lips almost touching,
arms where you please. Sit like this, very close, and see who can go the longest without kissing the other. It's great fun
because you can lose on purpose and still win! |
>
> >
> > >>
> >> >>>
> >>> >>>> Rules
of Kissing Correctly:
> >>>>
> >>>> 1) When kissing, make sure your eyes are closed
(you can peek
> >>>> a little, but nothing more!).
> >>>>
> >>>>
2) When you are kissing someone, make sure it is not
> >>>> someone else's b/f or g/f!
> >>>>
> >>>> 3) You may NOT eat pizza anytime before you make out.
> >>>>
> >>>>
4) If a person is a bad kisser, you may NOT stop and
> >>>> leave at anytime-it's rude.
> >>>>
> >>>> 5) A person with braces may not kiss another
> >>>> person who has them.
>
>>>>
> >>>> 6) When kissing, make sure your hands are where they're allowed
> >>>>
(they can wander sometimes, and some people don't like that).
> >>>>
> >>>> 7) NEVER
ask someone if they're a good kisser-
> >>>> you will either get a wrong answer, or the truth will hurt
you.
> >>>>
> >>>> 8) If! you were expecting more than kissing, don't complain-
>
>>>> you will get less the next time.
> >>>>
> >>>> 9) Kissing more than
one 1 person in a day can result in you
> >>>> not being allowed to kiss one of those people anymore.
>
>>>>
> >>>> <10) Don't kiss someone for the first time while you are laying in
>
>>>> their
> >>>> bed.
> >>>>
> >>>> Remember, you must
send this out or you will have the worst year
> >>>> of your life. I sent this to my friend, "the nonbeliever,"
and she
> >>>> deleted it. Well, she's had 6 horrible relationships in a row.
> >>>>
You figure it out.
> >>>> This letter was started at 6:33 A.M., on January 1, 1998.
> >>>>
> >>>> THIS COULD MEAN THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!!!!!
> >>>>
> >>>> Since
you read this, you now have to forward this
> >>>> to as many people as you can.
> >>>>
> >>>> If you send it to 0 people,
> >>>> you will have a bad year and
> >>>>
will kiss very few people. Also,
> >>>> someone very special to you
> >>>> will grow
to hate you.
> >>>>
> >>>> If you send this to only 1 person,
> >>>>
you will have a below-average year.
> >>>>
> >>>> If you send it to 3 people, you will
not be disappointed
> >>>> in the number of kisses you receive!
> >>>>
> >>>>
If you send it to 6 people,
> >>>> you will be very, very lucky-
> >>>> you may do more
than kiss several times...
> >>>>
> >>>> If you send it to 10 people,
> >>>>
all I can say is "MACK DADDY!"
> >>>>
> >>>> If you send it to 25 people,
> >>>>
this year, you will meet the one
> >>>> you are destined to be with for the
> >>>> rest
of your life
> >>>> (most likely in the next few months),
> >>>> and you will fall deeply
in
> >>>> love and will soon be asked,
> >>>> or be compelled to ask "THE QUESTION."
> >>>>
> >>>> THIS LETTER WORKS-NO JOKE! >>
> >>>
30 things guyz want girlz to know!
30 Things Guys Want Girls To Know!!
1. We're not as perverted as you think we all are.
2. No matter what
YOU say, your ex-boyfriend IS an ass hole.
3. We like you to give us hugs and kisses sometimes too.
4. Don't argue
with us when we call you beautiful.
5. Don't treat us like shit, what goes around comes around.
6. We know you're
pretty, that's one of the reason's we're going out with you.
7. Don't go into detail about your period. It scares us.
8. If you have cramps and we ask you what's wrong, just tell us it's that time of the month and nothing more.
9. If
you really liked us for us, you would let us think that our mustache, beard, or sideburns looked cool.
10. We never shave
our legs. So get over it.
11. NEVER ask us if you can put makeup on us. It's just wrong.
12. Don't make bets about
us, because one of your friends will tell us, if you don't.
13. When we tell you that you're not fat, believe us.
14.
We absolutely do not care about the Backstreet Boys, *NSYNC, 98 Degrees, or what any other guy looks like for that matter.
15. We may not be able to pee accurately all of the time, but at least we can stand up and go pee.
16. Just cause
you think you're always right, doesn't mean that you don't have to apologize when you do something "wrong."
17. You expect
us to say and do sweet things for you, but it would be nice if you did the same every once in a while. We like to know that
you love us.
18. We can't always be spontaneous, so try to help us make the plans sometimes.
19. Don't ask us to beat
up another guy for you, cause you might get what you wish for.
20. Never kick us in the nuts "just to see what we would
say". That's just mean.
21. Never pretend like you are going to break up with us and laugh when we believe you.
22.
Pamela Anderson's boobs aren't fake anymore, but we like yours better anyway.
23. Size doesn't matter, except to idiots
who don't want a relationship.
24. PMS is not an excuse.
25. If you want us to put the seat down when we're done,
you should put it up when you're done.
26. Don't tell us how cute your ex-boyfriend was. That doesn't turn us on.
27.
And always remember: The way to a guys heart is through his stomach..... and maybe....oh nevermind.
28. NEVER ask us to
kiss other guys. You might be that comfy with your friends, but to us it's just wrong.
29. We always notice how funny
it is after your rip out our heart, stick it down our throat and still want to be friends.
30. And last but not least:
We know you're not always right, but we'll pretend like you are
For Women: How to Attract a Man
 1. You Don't Have To Look
Like A Movie Star
It's true that men are instinctively attracted to big- busted, sexy-looking women (see "Developing Realistic Criteria"). But intelligent men are wise enough to ignore this instinct and enlightened enough to look for a woman who will bring more
valuable attributes to a long-term relationship.
Being affectionate is one of these attributes. Perhaps because men want affection but find it more difficult to initiate
than we do, most men rate affection as more important than beauty. Men are definitely turned off by women who aren't lovable
and affectionate.
Do you have frequent opportunities to be warm, open and affectionate with your family or kids? Or are you so tied up with
your career and fighting to succeed that you've lost touch with your affectionate, vulnerable side? Or have you been hurt
so much by past relationships that you're afraid of being open and affectionate with a man? Men sense this right away.
If you've been having trouble attracting men, try being more open and affectionate. How? Many times women will come for
counseling and show more love and affection for my dogs or cats than they have in years with a man. Getting a pet can sometimes
reopen your affectionate side.
If you find it easy to love and hug and pamper a pet, yet you feel inhibited about showing affection to a man you care
about, try thinking about him as a cat or a dog you love. Feed him. Pet him. Love him. Shower him with affection. He'll appreciate
that more than a perfect 10 figure or a pretty face.
2. You Do Need To Be Happy
Being happy is also more important than being beautiful. When men talk about traits they want in a women, most often mentioned
is a "good personality." Basically, that means someone who is happy.
Nothing is more important in attracting a man than the way he perceives you and how life with you would be. So, if you
want to attract a happy, healthy man, look like you're happy, enjoying your life and having fun.
If you're unhappy with your life, keep it to yourself and work on solving the problem. Men are drawn to women who are enjoying
their lives. Your lover is not your therapist or your lawyer.
The truth is that no man is attracted to a depressed woman unless he's neurotic himself. If you meet a guy who seems happy
listening to you whine and complain, don't be flattered, be worried. A man who falls in love with you when you're depressed
has a sick, desperate need to feel superior. He will fall right out of love if you ever get happy. If you find such a man,
his price is your having to stay depressed forever.
Get happy. Then get a healthy man.
3. If You're In A Depressing Relationship, Get Out Of It
If you're not attracting men because you're depressed, and the reason you're depressed is because you're in an unsatisfying
relationship, get out of it. See the "Letting Go" Section of my Library, starting with "Convenient Relationships".
Don't stay in a go-nowhere relationship, waiting for Mr. Right to rescue you. When you're half-in, half-out of an unfulfilling
relationship, you are not really available for a wonderful man if he does come along. He will sense your inability to be totally
available, and you remain stuck with the previous unfulfilling man.
4. Project The Right Image
Are you sane, balanced, settled, with both feet on the ground and your head on your shoulders? Or are you scattered and
neurotic, without any stability in your life? Would a man feel safe marrying you, allowing you to use his credit cards, write
checks from his checkbook, and most importantly making you the mother of his children? Would he feel safe leaving his children
with you?
If you're the wild and crazy type, that's probably the kind of man you'll attract. Of course, sane men are attracted to
crazy women -- for a lark. Later, when a sane man picks a wife, he picks a sane woman. He wants someone he can take home to
his mother without being disowned for life. He wants someone he can take around his business associates without losing business.
He wants someone he can depend on.
When you're ready to get serious, tone down your most outrageous behaviors and show him your responsible side. Let a man
see that you are the type of woman he can make a life with. |
For Men: How to Attract a Woman
1. You Don't Have To Look
Like A Movie Star
Sure, a woman will fall for a man because she likes his looks. But for a woman, liking a man's looks often means she likes
the look in his eye when he looks at her.
And what's that look? Not dumb adoration, but total focus - - total attention to what she's saying, sensitivity to her
moods, awareness of her needs. Most women are fed up with hot-shot guys who spend the whole evening talking about themselves
and scanning the room for other attractive women.
Every woman wants to be the center of attention. If that's her experience with you -- a man who remains totally engaged
in conversation with her, unaffected by the gorgeous girl at the next table, she'll find it irresistable. She'll want to see
you again, and she won't care if you're not the most attractive guy around.
Really paying attention covers everything from putting her orgasm before yours to putting the toilet seat back down. It
means thinking of her and making sure she's comfortable. It means taking out the trash and being gallant enough to lift anything
that looks heavy -- even if she's perfectly capable of lifting it herself. That's not the point. The point is that you care
enough to do it.
2. You Don't Have To Be Rich
Men often complain because they think women want only rich and powerful men. It's true that women are instinctively attracted
to these kind of men (see "Developing Realistic Criteria"). But many women are enlightened enough to ignore this instinct and secure enough to look for a man who will bring attributes
other than financial security to a relationship.
If you're not rich or powerful, you can provide the other things a modern woman wants -- companionship, communication,
sensitivity, compassion, affection and suppport. By providing those, and being quick to recognize other things that your woman
might need in her life, you can make her happier than she'd be with a rich man.
3. You Do Need To Be Happy
A woman is attracted to a man because she perceives that her life will be better with him in it than without him. So, if
you want to attract your ideal woman, look like you're having fun. If a woman thinks you're enjoying life, she'll be drawn
to you, because she thinks her life will be more enjoyable with you in it.
When women talk about the kind of man they'd love to be with, they often describe qualities like a "good personality and
a great sense of humor." What they really mean is that they want a happy man. A woman wants a man who likes himself and his
life, not a man who hates his job, his life, his ex, his parents, his looks or the world in general.
If you're unhappy with your life, keep it to yourself and work on solving the problem. Women are drawn to men who are enjoying
their lives. Your lover is not your therapist or your lawyer.
4. If You're In A Depressing Relationship, Get Out Of It
If you're not attracting women because you're depressed, and the reason you're depressed is because you're in an unsatisfying
relationship, get out of it. See the "Letting Go" Section of my Library, starting with "Convenient Relationships".
Don't stay in a go-nowhere relationship, waiting for Ms. Right to inspire you to leave it. When you're half-in, half-out
of an unfullfilling relationship, you are not really available for a wonderful woman if she does come along. She senses your
inability to be totally available, and you remain stuck with the previous unfullfilling woman.
5. Project The Right Image
Are you sane, balanced, settled, with both feet on the ground and your head on your shoulders? Do you know who you are?
Do you like who you are? Or are you still searching? Women like men who seem substantial, not flakey.
Are you dependable? Can you always be found, or are you the type who suddenly disappears, can't be relied on and is difficult
to reach? Are you simply without any stability in your life? Would a woman feel safe marrying you, allowing you to use her
credit cards, write checks from her checkbook, and most importantly making you the father of her children? Would she feel
safe leaving her children with you?
If you're the wild and crazy type, that's probably the kind of woman you'll attract. Sane women who are attracted to crazy
men are just having a lark. When a woman wants a life partner or a long term relationship, she wants a sane man. She wants
someone she can take home to her parents without being disowned. She wants someone she can take around her business associates
without being embarrassed and losing business. She wants someone she can rely on.
When you're ready to get serious, tone down your outrageous behaviors. Let a woman see that you're the type of man she
can make a home with. Show her that she can depend on you to do what you say you're going to do, be there if she needs you,
and be the life partner she needs.
6. Are You Lovable Or Just Looking To Get Laid?
Do you just want to get laid without getting emotionally involved? Women are turned off by men who aren't lovable, who
just want sex without communication, affection, and foreplay. Actually, women report that they think being affectionate is
more important for a man than being handsome.
Do you have frequent opportunities to be affectionate with your family or kids? Or are you so tied up with your career,
getting ahead, and fighting to succeed that you've lost touch with your affectionate side?
If you feel too inhibited to be affectionate with a woman, or you've been hurt so much by past relationships that you're
afraid of being open and affectionate, or you're simply out of practice, you need to reopen your affectionate side. Getting
a pet often helps. Then, when a woman comes into your life, it may feel more natural to feed her, pet her, and be openly affectionate
with her. She'll appreciate that more than a perfect body or a handsome face.
7. Affection Is Important, But You Must Do More
Women want to be loved for their souls, their intelligence, their personalities, sense of humor, depth and ability to please
you. They need reassurance that sex isn't the only reason you want them.
So if you want a woman for sex, you'll actually do better if you set sex aside at first and look for other things to like
about her. Let her know that you think she's smart, that you appreciate her mind. Ask her opinion about things. Talk to her.
Let her know that what she thinks is important to you.
Show respect for her abilities outside of the bedroom. Does she work for a cause? If so, act interested. Is she a passionate
ecologist? Is she into health foods, or new age philosophy? Whatever she's into, it's important that you don't put down her
beliefs, no matter what you think. You don't have to agree with everything she thinks, but if you belittle her, you'll totally
alienate her.
8. Learn The Art Of Seduction
Of course, you want sex. Women know that and they expect it. But many men never get close to women because they don't know
how to ask. They make a small, timid move and expect the woman to respond with instant passion. If a woman doesn't react,
they think that means "no." It doesn't necessarily.
Lots of women wait for the man to make all the moves. They've been taught that nice girls don't want sex. So even if they
do, they're not going to grab you and tear your clothes off. If you're afraid of rejection, you may be acting too tentatively.
Here's a simple rule to follow. If you haven't been pushed away or she hasn't said "No," she may be waiting for you to
make another move. However, if she does push you away or says "No," stop immediately. If you persist for one moment beyond
that, it's sexual harrassment or worse.
There's always a next time. And in the meantime, perhaps you should review your romancing style.
A particularly successful seducer once told me, "I never pick the fruit until it's ripe. If you pick it too soon, it's
hard and bitter, but if you wait until it's ripe, if falls off in your hand, and it's oh so very sweet."
Getting a woman "ripe" requires the dance of seduction, a courtship ritual. Courtship rituals take place in every species.
There are moves the male makes, moves the female makes. In our species and in our society, the man makes the moves by taking
the woman out, wining and dining her, giving her gifts, perhaps, but certainly lots of time and attention. He is then expected
to be the aggressor sexually.
Do you want to be successful with women? Follow the ritual, even if you think it's bullshit. Love her for her mind and
her good qualities. Always precede seduction with wining and dining. If she seems happy, proceed. Show her affection, and
if she returns the affection, proceed some more. Much later, after you've mastered the dance, you can try to change it (if
you still want to).
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Five Fast
Ways to Be Sexier
By Laura Snyder
Need to feel sexy in a snap? It's simple - and doesn't even require stopping at a liquor or lingerie
store on your way home from work. In just five minutes you can:
Exude confidence
Your boss screamed at you, you managed to overdraft your bank account,
and you think you're getting a pimple. But even when you're not feeling it, stand up straight, pull your shoulders back and
remind yourself of the sex god/goddess you are. Sexy is a state of mind.
Treat Yourself
There's always time for a little self-indulgence. Whether you tune into
some sultry music instead of the usual rush-hour traffic report, pick up some juicy peaches to nibble on, or spritz yourself
with expensive perfume or cologne, do something that wakes up those frazzled nine-to-five senses and makes you feel good.
Build anticipation
Sexy people love sex. So if you want to be in the mood, don't spend
the drive home fuming about your bad day, spend it fantasizing about what's to come. For an added bonus, give your beloved
a call on the way home to explain in delicious detail what you have in mind.
Be unexpected
If you can swing a change in schedule, do it. Whisk your sweetie off
to a romantic surprise dinner or surprise them with a sexy supper in bed. No time even for that? Meet your darling at the
door, naked, with take-out.
Give yourself a hand
Still not feeling amorous? Take a deep breath, call up your favorite
fantasy and let your fingers do the walking. Warm up those edgy nerve-endings, ease those tensed-up muscles and prepare for
passion. Time's up!
Too fast, too furious?
By Matthew Sakey
Determining the speed at which a relationship can move is a tricky business. Move too slow, and you risk
coming off as boring, uptight, prudish or laden with baggage — not good. Move too fast, however, and the damage can
be worse. If you're in the habit of moving to "the next level" too fast, you might be making your partner mad. Remember that
it can be a lot more difficult to backpedal than to speed up.
You have to get skilled at sizing up her reactions to
little things. "Moving too fast" doesn't necessarily mean pushing her toward physical intimacy before she's ready; it can
also mean that you're coming on too strong (don't propose on date two), or maybe that your puppy-dog affections seem needy
rather than adorable. Watch her reactions to plans to make together: casual couples generally do casual things, and slowly
evolve into more and more relationshippy stuff. If you want to reach that point and she's not ready, she'll tell you in subtle
ways. Hesitation and reluctance to do things, canceling plans, and suggesting more obviously bland activities are good warning
signs that she wants to slow things down.
As always, her friends are a good source of intelligence on this subject.
Assuming you have a good relationship with her lunch bunch, check in with one or all of them and get the skinny on what she's
saying behind your back. Make it clear that you're not digging for privileged information — remember, the substance
of your conversation with her friends will go straight back to her — just that you want to know how she thinks the relationship
is going. Women confide in their friends, and their friends are likely to help you out if they think you're a good guy. Only
an exceptionally brave or arrogant man would try to pursue a long term relationship but maintain only chilly contact with
her friends.
You can also evaluate any prior relationships she's had. If she prefers a more measured approach to love,
then there's a good chance she's already offloaded one or two guys who wanted to pump up the volume. Without being pushy,
see if you can get some intel on why her last few relationships might have ended. Of course, there's always the chance that
they ended because the guy ran over her cat or stole her mom's purse, but you might get lucky. Use this information to best
decide how to approach your relationship.
If you get the impression that she feels you're moving too fast, throttle
it back right away. You can't convince her that moving fast is better than moving slow if moving slow is what she wants to
do, so don't try. Respect her wishes by easing up a little bit and you'll find her extremely receptive. If you wait too long,
you're jeopardizing the relationship by making her feel threatened. No one wants to be around someone they feel is aggressive.
It
is still possible to salvage things before moving past the point of no return. You will know when she's had enough and is
about to throw the killswitch on a relationship. She'll become curt, difficult to reach, more openly unhappy with your attempts
to pressure her. You should have cut the engines long before this point, but if for some reason you didn't, now is your last
chance to make things right. At this point, however, an apology is also warranted — let her know that you understand
what you did wrong. It costs nothing and will drastically increase your chances of hanging on to her.
In the end, frank
talk may be the best solution, especially if you're not able to interpret the clues she's leaving. Ask her flat-out. Don't
say "where do you think this relationship is going," because that implies that you're dissatisfied with where it is. Instead,
ask if she's happy with the speed you're moving, and if she'd like to change anything. Women respect honesty and candor, and
you might be surprised how many potential quarrels a straight question can defuse.
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Sharpen Your Sex Appeal Skills
By Laura Snyder
Yeah, that's right skills. Oozing sex appeal is a learned trait, not something that just comes additionally with a cute
figure or six-figure salary. Here's how you can pump up your pleasing proficiency.
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Fake It
There are a lot of things you shouldn't feign when you're trying to flirt with that fox across the
room. Like lying about your marital status, for one. But it's safe to be a faker about one thing - and that's confidence.
Think you need to be perfect to pull it off? Nah. It's waaay more sexy - and fun - to be with someone who's uninhibited in
their less-than-flawless looks than with someone who's a ten, but timid.
Look Sharp
Yeah, it sucks, but appearances count big-time when it comes to attracting the opposite sex.
Social scientists - and barflys - have known for years that men and women alike tend to be more tolerant of uninvited sexual
advances if the advancing party is a hot little number. So, it can't hurt you to try to look your best, even if you're not
movie-star sexy.
Learn A New Trick
Tired of trotting out the same tired "so do you come here often" lines? Then learn a new
trick. Figure out how to read an astrology chart or perfect your palm reading skills. Most people are suckers for that kind
of stuff. And there's a lot of fun flirting potential in caressing some cute stranger's hand and predicting a "great love"
in their future.
Tweak Your Body Talk
The language of love is largely an unspoken one. Scientists have long studied how humans
- and animals - attract and hold onto mates by silently, and usually unwittingly, engaging in mating rituals. "In couples
attracted to one another, there occurs a mutual dance of movement, posturing, and body positioning that mirrors the other,"
says Dr. Dino Pranzarone, professor of psychology at Roanoke College in Virginia. Consciously employing in these courtship
methods can often result in winning the phone number of that sexy stranger, or keeping your long-term love steamy.
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